Its efforts like this from Marvel that have almost made me "Hulk-out" on many an occasion. I will give them some credit; their timing is impeccable. A few months after the release of the solid Incredible Hulk remake with Edward Norton on DVD, days before the New York Comic Con, and only a couple of months before Wolverine: Origins hits theatres, Marvel Studios drops this little wannabe gem on us called Hulk VS. "Versus who?" you ask. Well, who do you want to see fight the Hulk? This is after all the question that the folks at Marvel seemed to ask themselves since this effort is just a huge piece of fan fiction to drive the fan-boys into frenzied fits at comic-conventions.
Hulk VS. is a straight to DVD release that contains not one, but TWO "movies". I have to put those magical punctuations around the word "movies" with this because something that can be strung across a pair of Saturday morning cartoon episodes should not be considered an actual movie. To try to make this geek-gasm on a disc worth your money, Marvel paired two separate Hulk adventures onto this DVD and even then it times out to only 82 minutes.
First, we see the not-so-jolly green giant take on the man who is "the best at what he does, and what he does isn't very nice". A pre-X-MEN Wolverine has been tasked by his Department H headmasters to locate and subdue a monster who is wreaking havoc in the Canadian countryside. Dept. H is a fictional spin on Canada's CSIS, by the way. Fictional, of course, because who expects Canada to have any REAL intelligence agency? After picking up the scent, Wolverine begins to track the Hulk across the Canadian Rockies.
The action quickly picks up as Wolverine finds a quivering Bruce Banner in the woods and he wants to know why there is a half-naked man in freezing temperatures out in the middle of nowhere. Wolverine's subsequent threats get under Banner's skin, transforming Banner into his worse half and the highlight of the "movie" ensues with a defining battle taking place with moments from all the Hulk vs. Wolverine battles that have happened over the past 30 years, again catering to the fan-boys. Before it can end, Sabertooth, Lady Deathstrike, Deadpool, and Omega Red appear out of nowhere. We then see a montage of Wolverine's origin story, which is not explained so if you are unfamiliar with the character, you end up lost, confused, and frustrated because I thought the Hulk was supposed to be the main character here and we just had every major bad guy and moment from Wolverine's history thrown into a five minute montage. The story then continues in a Wolverine and Hulk TEAM-UP against the Weapon X rejects. After they are defeated, the Hulk and Wolverine go back to fighting each other, for no apparent reason, and the credits start to roll on a freeze frame a la Rocky vs. Apollo Creed like they were two friends sparring in some eternal duel.
This first DVD is a complete and utter disappointment. The things that made me furious as a comics fan far outweigh the handful of positives in this. When all the special features vignettes outlast the actual "movie" by almost 20 minutes each, you know you got off on the wrong foot.
The only positives were that the animation style kept in line with the popular Japanese style that many American animation studios have adapted in recent history (starting in 1992 with Batman: The Animated Series and continuing through most major superhero cartoons up to this point) and living up to those standards, they tried to make it play like a comic story arc, and the introduction of Deadpool to animation.
The negatives include the horrible character development, the fact that the name of the title is Hulk vs. Wolverine and it ended up being Hulk and Wolverine vs. Weapon X, the horrible animation model for Sabertooth, who looked nearly the same size as Wolverine, the fact that the entire movie could have been done over the course of a Saturday morning special, and you just have a frustrating, disjointed viewing experience as if you were reading a comic story arc, but missed several issues. If you are a diehard comics fan then you will probably be able to sit through it because you already know the back stories and will recognize the many, many references the "movie" makes to the comics, but if you are a casual fan, this would not be for you. Add in a few typical behind the scenes vignettes and special commentary packages and the special edition part of this disc is not very special at all.
The second piece in this two part Hulk-fest sees Mr. "You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry" against the mighty Thor, the Norse God of Thunder in the aptly titled: Hulk vs. Thor. This second "movie" was a lot better than the first. With a narrated opening montage that explains all you need to know about Asgard (realm of the Norse gods) and the characters in play, the plot is revealed within the first five minutes and the rest is non-stop smashing. Loki, the Norse God of Mischief and Evil has separated Bruce Banner from the essence that is the Hulk and unleashed him on Asgard during its weakest hour.
Without Banner to keep the Hulk tethered to humanity, the Hulk rampages throughout Asgard, laying waste to all in his path and all that stands between Hulk and the complete destruction of Asgard is Thor. The Hulk, being the only thing that could compete with a god, handily smashes Thor. Loki is betrayed though by his minion, the nicely drawn Enchantress, who revives Thor because it seems she's got a crush on Mr. Goldilocks. She reveals what Loki has done and the rest of the movie is cut between Thor trying to reunite Banner with the Hulk and Hulk just laying waste to the rest of Asgard's army as he makes a beeline towards the temporarily incapacitated Odin (near omnipotent king of the gods) with Thor finally succeeding in the end.
This "movie" was much better in terms of establishing the plot and giving the heroes an objective. Still though, being only 45 minutes, again this could have been done over a pair of Saturday morning specials and we could have been done with it. Instead, Marvel wanted to show off the new blood special effects that they have for animation so they could get a PG-13 rating on a cartoon and therefore make it so they couldn't put it on network Saturday mornings and mass produce these ridiculously overpriced DVDs. Again, the special feature vignettes are just "How we produced 82 minutes of par animation and charged you $24.99 for it" and they last longer than the actual "movie".
I have to end on the note that I really hope they do better with future releases in the "VS." series Marvel is planning. On an individual basis, Hulk vs. Wolverine gets a 1 out of 5 and Hulk vs. Thor gets a 2 out of 5 to average it out to a whopping 1.5 out of 5. Unless you are a hardcore Marvel fan-boy, I would probably avoid these or rent them at most.
-Ray Carsillo
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